


Some Wounds Are Eternal

by Gemini_Baby



Category: Batman - All Media Types, Nightwing (Comics), Titans (Comics)
Genre: (Mirage Stuff), Dick Grayson Needs a Hug, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Gen, Jason Todd is a good brother, Panic Attacks, implied/referenced past rape/non-con
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-12
Updated: 2020-09-12
Packaged: 2021-03-06 20:02:11
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,074
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26424556
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gemini_Baby/pseuds/Gemini_Baby
Summary: Some wounds are eternalSome wounds keep bleedingSometimes it takes years to realize that there are woundsSome wounds healSome don'tSome are given attention too lateBut it doesn't mean that going on a road of recovery is too lateOR: It sometimes takes the victims months or years to realize what actually happened, and the author explores just that with Dick. He has some people to hold him when he breaks or catch him when he falls
Relationships: Dick Grayson & Jason Todd
Comments: 12
Kudos: 118





	Some Wounds Are Eternal

**Author's Note:**

> Many times victims don't fully realize that they had been victims, and when they do...it is not pretty. And in this fic, I am exploring just that through Dick _because I want to_
> 
> Anyways, always take care of yourself. If it feels like you need to back out for your mental health, please do so <3

Dick and Jason were watching a movie. Dick had not known that it would have sudden elements, out of nowhere, which would feature graphic scenes, disturbing things, gore, blood…  _ lots of blood _ , and many things which either should be warned about or not included in the movie especially when the synopsis or the description of the said movie did not have slightest warnings about these.

Dick once gave a thought about either turning off this one or just changing channels and watching a silent comedy instead. The only thing that made him not follow that decision was Jason sitting beside him, on the bed, and watching it with him. Dick had asked him to stay with him and in his attempt to bond with his brother, he had just randomly picked out a movie.  _ Big mistake. _

Some of the things in it were what Dick didn’t initially find disturbing but when Jason pointed out some of the stuff, discussing while watching, Dick reconsidered it.  _ And his brother was right. _

Still, he didn’t want to sabotage his attempt at bonding with his little brother or appear weak or fallible in front of his younger brother.  _ He was supposed to be an example, not a disgrace. _

It was nearing half of the movie and the main guy, not a hero in Dick’s opinion; just a main character, was being blamed. He did make a mistake after all, and he had been an idiot. Internally, Dick cringed. He had made the same mistake as the main guy after all, in the past.

He had been called out on it , back then.

The main characters and supporting cast were delivering the dialogues on-screen while Dick grimaced. Why was the guy trying to avoid the blame? Why was he being so stubborn to accept his fault?

The characters continued their bickering.

_ “You are a cheater.” _ _  
_ _ “I never cheated on you.” _

_ “You slept with her.” _

_ “I thought she was  _ **_you._ ** _ ” _

_ “Excuses, excuses.” _ _  
  
_

The main guy was slapped by his partner and she dumped him calling him a cheater. He deserved the slap.

The scene later changed to a scene where they had to be working together.

The other woman who had impersonated the guy’s partner was mocking him, on screen.

_ “You are a slut.” _

The guy ignored her.

_ “ You don’t think of anything other than sex. “ _

She kept on pestering him.

_ “You really enjoyed it.” _

He kept his focus ahead and tried hard to pay her no mind.

_ “Says a lot about you.” _

Jason’s voice cut through the tv noise. “Well, this was bad.”

“Yeah.” Dick agreed.

“It’s going in a bad direction.”

“Yeah.” Because, of course, it was.  _ The guy was a jerk _ .

“They all are victim blaming the guy who just got raped. And his rapist just mocked and told him  _ that he enjoyed it. _ ”

_ Wait, what? _

  
  


Dick turned his neck so fast in Jason’s direction that a click could be heard.

Jason looked at him. Concern was written all over his face.

“Dickie, you okay?” Jason asked softly.

Dick opened his mouth but couldn’t find his voice for a couple of minutes. He just nodded vigorously. His ears were ringing. Ice was encompassing him from inside. And thousands of icicles were piercing his heart. His heart was hammering and his breathing got weird.

  
  


“Wh- what did you just say?”, Dick asked but he didn’t believe that the voice was his.

Jason put his hand on Dick’s jaw. “Dick...Dickiebird, are you okay?”

Dick just stared at him with wide eyes.  _ His heart was beating too fast. His breath was coming raggedly. Cold dread washed over him. His ears were ringing. _

“Dickie, you are scaring me. What happened?”

Dick just stared at him with eyes too wide and mouth parted. “You said something.”

“I said something? What did I say? I was just talking about the movie.”

_ “Yeah, that.” _

“I only said: ‘They all are victim blaming the guy who just got raped. And his rapist just mocked and told him  _ that he enjoyed it’. _ ”

  
  


“Rape?”

"The guy...he never consented to it." 

_ Didn't consent?  _

_ This was not making any sense.  _

  
  


"Not sure…what you mean by that."

Jason ignored the question and pulled Dick towards him and tilted his head upwards. "Dick, look at me. Count with me." 

_ It didn't make any sense. _

"One, two, three, .........., seventeen,......... thirty two, …… forty nine." 

_ It didn't make any sense. _

His head was now on Jason's chest, near his heart. He could distantly hear some heartbeats of his little brother.

_ "......you here?.... Dick…….. Bluebird……...Dickie………. " _

_ It didn't make any sense.  _

".......ocus…...n…….m……..heart b..t"

Dick tried. He really did. But he felt like he was free falling. He was feeling like a glass vase which had fallen and shattered into a million pieces.

_ Nothing was making any sense. _

  
  


“I need you to answer, are you okay?”

_ Was he? _

“You don’t have to answer verbally, okay?”

_ What was even the question? _

“You can nod for yes or shake your head for no.”

_ Yes? No? yesno yesno yesno noyes _

_ What was he even supposed to answer yes or no to? _

“Are you here?”

_ Was he? _

“Can you hear my voice?”

_ He can, he thinks. But it is coming from very far away. It is distorted. Feels like he has fallen into an ocean and got water in his ears. Someone above, standing on a cliff is calling for him. _

“Blink once for yes and no blink for no? How does that sound?”

_ Blink? His whole life is blinking. _

He hears a distant shaky breath. ”Dick?”

_ Dick? Who is Dick? Oh.  _ **_OH._ ** _ He  _ **_is_ ** _ Dick. _

He blinks his eyes when the realization hits him.  _ He is Dick and someone is calling for him. _

“Dickie.”

_ Jay. That is Jay. _

He sniffed and tried to open his mouth to answer but a sob broke from him. It seemed like he was not in the driving seat anymore. His sub-consciousness had taken the steering wheel.

The sobs just kept coming.

Jason tucked Dick’s head under his chin, his one hand on the back of Dick’s head and other around Dick’s back, pulling him closer to him than before. “Dick, it’s okay. I have got you.”

Dick kept sobbing. The sobs were getting louder and louder. His whole body was trembling and heaving. He shivered.

Jason produced a blanket out of nowhere and covered him with it. “I have got you.”

_ This was wrong. This was all wrong. Very wrong. _

“I am here, Dickiebird. You are not alone.”

_ Not alone! Dick doesn’t want to be alone. _

“I am here. You are not alone. I have got you.”

_ It is Dick’s job to have his siblings’ back. He should be the one telling it to them. Not the other way around. _

His eyes were wet and tears run down his cheeks, making a big wet spot on Jason’s shirt and Dick was not in the state to even stop these unsolicited tears.

In all the things on the list of Dick’s mess ups in front of Jason, crying and sobbing had joined the list. He couldn’t even control himself, his emotions, his tears, his sobs, his consciousness, anything. Dick even failed to get back the driving seat. He was a failure. 

He didn't understand. He rarely cried. And whenever he did, it was always for a reason. But why was he crying now?  _ This didn't make any sense.  _

He had no idea why he was crying. Just that something had disturbed him, very deeply. He felt like something had happened resulting in his brain hitting the brakes harshly and the car, that was his life, had hit the tree called too many emotions. The fire, called sobs and dread, were consuming the car.  _ The car was going to explode. He was having a breakdown. _

He…he needed to take the control back. It took him a lot of energy to even move his hand and fingers when he grabbed the material of Jason's sleeve making it into a ball and tugging it, with all the strength he could muster; which was not much, at that time. 

His brother tightened his hands around him and kissed in his hair. Dick thought Jason might just have been relieved that Dick showed something near the slightest reaction. That Jason didn't need to worry about his failure of a brother, anymore.

“Dickie?”

Dick tried opening his mouth and answering, but his throat was hoarse and he felt like scratching it. His throat was feeling like there was a web built with piercing objects in his throat. It hurted ad Dick wanted nothing more than to yank that painful web and throw it away. Something touched his lips and it startled him, his body jumping in reaction. He had surprised even himself with this body suddenly reacting and jumping. He titled his neck upwards to see Jason’s face. He was looking at Dick, concern and love painted his face. There was no sign of anger or mocking or anything like that. He was only looking at Dick, with attention and concern.  _ Why was Jason not angry? It didn’t make any sense. _

Though Jason also looked a bit startled. Maybe at Dick’s sudden reaction?  _ Well, that makes two of us _ , Dick thought.

Dick’s eyes followed Jason’s gaze and in his hand was a glass of water.  _ Oh.  _ The object that had touched his lips was the glass of water.  _ Water. He needed water. _

But Jason’s hand moved in the opposite direction and put the glass on the bedside drawer instead.  _ No. Why would Jay do that? Evil! _

His eyes looked longingly at the glass. If he had the energy, he would have snatched it from there and gulped it down. But right now, he was too tired, too exhausted. He was drained. Why would his brother put away the glass of water like that? Dick started thinking and realized that Jason was  _ scared _ of  _ scaring _ Dick, again. Dick tilted his head, frowning and trying to communicate with his eyes that  _ he wants water, that he needs it. _

It took some more frowning on both sides of the parties and some guesswork on Jason’s end. His hand picked up the glass and tried to give it to Dick. this time, trying to get the glass in Dick’s hands rather than letting it be an intrusive object. This was not going to be successful because Dick thought he had no grip left in his hands. Still, Jason tried to get Dick to hold the glass, which he did. And Jason wrapped one hand around it, supporting it so that it doesn’t fall down and put the other hand at the back of Dick’s head supporting it. 

The first sip, it was short. Dick felt like he had been thirsty for an eternity. The water tasted like happiness.  _ Water was divine. it tasted like happiness, and it made Dick feel good and happy. Maybe it was Dick’s dehydration and immense need for water talking, but frankly, Dick didn’t care. _ He took many short sips and later longer ones.

After he was done. Jay took the glass from him and put it on the bedside drawer. This time, though, the glass was empty. 

Dick crashed against Jason, his head hitting Jason’s chest. He was back in the room again, no longer feeling like he had been drowned. Instead, feeling like he had made it to the surface, but was soaking wet and was cold. His subconscious supplied that there was no white noise washing over them. He looked around the room and later noticed that the TV was off.  _ He had failed. He was a let down. He had soured the mood. Destroying his own pathetic attempt at bonding.  _

He didn’t know how to save what was already destroyed  _ because of him _ , didn’t know what would be the right words to say. The word “Movie?” laced with confusion slipped from his lips.

“I turned off the movie.”

“I am sorry.”

“Sorry? Why are you apologizing, Dick?”

_ Why was he? He should! He should not. He should!  _

_ Nothing was making any sense. _

“For ruining it.”

He looked at Jason who was looking down.  _ He was frowning _ . His face said confusion. Arms wrapped around him and Dick’s head was tucked, again, under Jason’s chin. “You did not ruin anything.”

_ It didn’t make any sense. _

“I overreacted. I don’t even know why.” 

“You did not overreact. That movie triggered you.”


End file.
